I have decided that I AM a writer. No more kidding around, no more denial, no more being afraid that I am not as good as those old guys on CSPAN who sit around and talk about all the boring shit they write about. I too AM a writer. I have something to say!
So today I was at an EXPO where local companies come and set up tables and show people what they are all about. There was one table and one person I was drawn to. There was something about this woman that caused me to stop at her table. It was something about her that made me realize that I want to be like her. She seemed to KNOW exactly what she was supposed to be doing with her life and she was truly happy about it. WOW, I want that! I am happy in so many aspects of my life, but not in the professional sense of who I AM.
As we were talking I was asking questions about her hypnosis CD's etc., one was about losing weight. I told her I want to lose weight and get in shape. She asked "then why aren't you?" She said that once I figured out the answer to that question, I would be able to lose those the last 10 pounds AND get in shape. SO why aren't I in shape? Why don't I exercise? It isn't that I am fat, only about 20 pounds and toning is all I need, so why then don't I do it? Her question hit me right in the face....WHY??? I don't know why....and it intrigues me that there is something there blocking me and I don't know what it is.
And why IF I want to be a writer, why aren't I writing? WHY? I have blamed it on writers block, but feel it is probably much deeper than that. I think it is a LIFE BLOCK. Something keeping me from being what I want to be. SO therefore I have some work to do to figure out what all this means. I feel that this is one of those a-ha moments that I need to work on to become ME, or at least the ME that I want to be.
I am intrigued! I have a block that is keeping me from becoming the me I see in my head., the writer, the totally hot gym babe.......why? I'll keep you posted...
